Chapter 7: Side Profiles and Irises (7)
The taxi stopped in front of Tatsukiâs apartment building, and like a timer that had run out, Tatsuki let go of Shinâs hand. But his touch and his warmth didnât disappear with it.
They entered Tatsukiâs apartment, and there was a throw blanket balled up on the sofa. It was left over from the guests that had stayed earlier in the day. Shin wondered what the two comedians had talked about with Tatsuki. When Shin had spoken to them a little in the green room, they were incredibly happy.
âThank ya for introducinâ us to such a nice guy. I was scared that a Tokyo TV announcer would be arrogant anâ rude, but Tatsuki-kun ainât like that at all.â
âWe promised to get drinks with Tatsuki-kun the next time heâs in Osaka.â
The two comedians were shy and withdrawn by nature, like a considerable number of other comedians in the industry. That they were able to relax and open themselves up to Tatsuki in just a few hours, it should have made Shin happy for introducing them. However, he just couldnât bring himself to say, Iâm really glad, to them. They were already on a first name basis, and they had even made plans to go out together. He really got along with all sorts of people, huh? But Shin wondered why it bothered him so much.
âWhat do you feel like drinking? I have beer, chuhai,1 and whiskey and soda.â
âNo, thanks, Iâm fine. I have a tapinâ for GoGo tomorrow.â
âHnn. Here, you can have this. Youâre thirsty, right?â
Tatsuki handed him a can of beer.
âWhy ya givinâ me this?â
âAww, come on~ Itâs the lowest alcohol drink I have. Just have one with me, okay? Oh, I know! Wanna watch my GoGo DVDs?â
âYeah, I wanna watch!â
âOh~ You really bit at that~â
Tatsuki was back to the normal Tatsuki. Shin figured, Eh, why not, and cracked open the beer. Tatsuki gave him a bright smile, and Shin felt much better. Shin couldnât settle down when he couldnât read Tatsukiâs face or behavior, darkened as if the sun had hidden behind the clouds.
âBy the way, isnât your mom staying at your place? Do you need to go home?â
âShe has a spare key. She can take care of herself.â
Shin had seen the DVDs numerous times already, but he split his sides laughing at all the same scenes as he drank his beer to quench his thirst. He emptied the can in the blink of an eye, and somehow a new one found its way in his hand. Shin did stop to think, Huh, but the beer tasted great as he watched his favorite show. He figured one more beer couldnât hurt⌠And the process repeated itself over the night.
ââŚNhh~ âŚThe last trainâŚâ
âWhy donât you spend the night? Your face is all red. Itâs probably better to not to try to head home.â
âYa the one who made me drink~â
âMinagawa Snack & Bar~ Never an empty hand~ Not unless you tell me to stop~â
âYa terrible!â
Tatsuki got up from the sofa to put in a new disc, and Shin took the opportunity to lie down. The alcohol gradually spread out horizontally.
âHey, you stole the sofaâŚâ Tatsuki complained, but he sat down on the floor without pushing Shin from his spot.
âItâs now 12:55! Time for Go Go Dash! Ya know, Iâve always wanted to start off the show like that, like weâre a live broadcast, but weâre tapinâ in the middle of the afternoon right now.â
âYa didna hafta say that, ya know.â
âAnyway, I heard the silliest thing the other day. Apparently there was an Electronics Instructions Manual Review Competition, and they didnât get very many participants.â
âYeah, sounds pretty lame.â
âI wonder why? Was there a Happy Ending Massage Report Contest happeninâ at the same time?â
âOoh, Iâd participate in that.â
âToo bad that ya ainât gettinâ the directorâs okay for it.â
âBut weâll get better ratinâs.â
âHmm, but maybe theyâll reckon the ratinâs are fake? Ladies and gentlemen, have yâall ever reckoned that before? Like, are the ratinâs even real? Ya know, we should put it to the test! Weâre gonna air color bars for 5 minutes straight in just a little bit, and all yâall viewers can change the channel, turn the TV off, whatever ya want! That way our viewership will be zero durinâ that time, anâ we can actually check the numbers.â
âYa totally insane.â
âIn exchange, ya better promise to come back in exactly 5 minutes! If the ratinâs stay zero for the rest of the show, yâall gonna see a TV shoppinâ show next week. Weâll be sellinâ those telescopinâ pruninâ shears to yâall if ya donât come back.â
â…This was the first GoGo episode I ever saw. It really takes me back. It musta been almost 10 years,â Shin said.
âI canât believe they really put up color bars for the full 5 minutes. They were crazy.â
Although rules and regulations had been more lax back then, apparently it had caused quite the uproar within the network. Shin had learned the behind-the-scenes story after he was hired.
âYeah, I kept wonderinâ about the show the followinâ week, so I watched it again. And Iâve been watchinâ it ever since.â
âThe color bars decided your path in life.â
âYeah.â
Shin had been in high school, and Sakae was a mere director on the show. Shin hadnât been aware of the existence of someone called Souma Sakae yet. Sakae had worked extensively on the video footage as the director and editor during that period, and his touch was much more deeply embedded on the show then than it was now. That was why Shin could be watching the quietest little shot, and he loved it and never got tired of it. Especially sprawled out like now, buzzed on alcohol with nothing to worry about.
âThis feels real nice,â Shin whispered absentmindedly. âThis is prolly the first time Iâve ever felt so comfy drinkinâ at someoneâs place.â
âWhy? You donât have friends?â
âOf course, Iâve got friends, but I dun drink in front of people who work in the industry.â
âWhat about friends from college?â
âMy work hours are all over the place. I kept cancellinâ on them last minute, so eventually they stopped invitinâ me out. Anâ I ainât really talked to âem since.â
âDonât you get sick of it?â
âOf work? Not really. Thatâs just how things go after college.â
âHnnn, seems lonely to me.â
That reminded him, Shin hadnât gone back to his hometown ever since he found his job. He didnât mean to cut loose all of his old connections, but his world started and ended inside of the television station. He did see people outside of the industry when he was out on location, and there were always people at the network, so he should have felt the furthest thing from isolation and loneliness. But hearing Tatsuki say he seemed lonely, he felt like he really did lead a lonely existence, and it suddenly put a damper on his inebriation. Loneliness was close enough to the feelings of unconditional inferiority.
âI get lonely easily, so I canât stand it unless I have people constantly to hang around with,â Tatsuki said.
Shin thought meanly, As if the loneliness of someone who could declare that so easily meant anything at all.
âWhy dun ya get married then?â
âThatâs a sudden topic to bring up.â
âIf ya get married, yaâve got someone around 24/7. And if ya have children, it gets livelier. Ainât it nice?â
âSay it in a nicer way then~â
âI ainât got any interest. I dun have anybody anyway.â
âI donât have anyone either.â
âWhy ya always snarkinâ at me?â
âHuh? How is it snark?â
âIf ya really wanted someone, you can catch âem right away.â
âWhat is this? Pokemon?â
âWell, ainât it true?â
Tatsuki faced his back towards Shin, curled into a ball, defenseless, as he drank his beer. Shin could see his shoulder blades through the thin material of his T-shirt.
âI havenât felt like finding anyone these past two years.â
âThatâs a long time.â
âYeah, I had my heart broken, and before I realized it, it had already been two years.â
âHuh?â
Shin fell silent in his surprise. What broke the silence was a laughter that he had grown very used to hearing.
âIs it really that surprising?â
ââŚYeah.â
That Tatsuki had pursued someone and was rejectedâit didnât fit with his image. Shin had imagined a woman sort of pushing her way towards marriage and Tatsuki accepting it with a smile and a Oh, why not, and they would be married for life. Because Tatsuki never seemed to refuse people. And in the event that things didnât work out, wasnât he the type to move on quickly to the next person?
Did Tatsuki like the girl so much that he couldnât forget about her for two years? Shin fiercely wished to know what the girl was like and the kind of romance they had shared. And he fiercely wished not to know. This man had given his affection in every which direction, but he had eyes for one special person in particular.
On the other side of Tatsukiâs back, what kind of expression was he making? Shin watched as his fingertips reached for Tatsuki, feeling no sense of reality, like the fingers belong to somebody else.
ââBut itâs not like I still have feelings for them.â
Tatsuki started speaking with only a few centimeters to go, and Shin immediately pulled his hand back.
âI got turned down, and we still talk without any hard feelings. Their boyfriend is really nice, and I like him a lot too.â
âWould you have married her if she didnât turn you down?â
âNo, I canât see that happening.â Tatsuki laughed as he answered. âThe person I had liked is a man after all.â
ââŚHuh?â
Uhh? Did he hear that correctly? Maybe he said a fan? Or a stan? Gran? Cezanne?2
Uh, no, thatâs not possible.
âSorry, I dun think I heard ya very well.â
âHuh? I said that I liked a man. Heâs the first man that I ever liked~ It surprised me a lot, but well, you never know what life brings you~â
Tatsuki answered back completely unconcerned. Shin raised his eyebrows and sat back up.
ââŚIs that supposed to be a joke? Are ya waitinâ for a funny comment?â
âHuh? Why do you say that? Iâm being serious. Is getting rejected by a man joke material? Thatâs pretty mean.â
âNo, but⌠Ya said it so calmly, I canât really believe it.â
âHnn. Itâs fine if you think Iâm lying. Itâs not like I have a certificate to prove it.â
What the hell? Why so ho-hum? This devil-may-care attitude?
Shin gave Tatsuki a smack on the back.
âOw.â
âDun say it so flippant-like!â
âBut Iâm not the type of person who can say it all serious and grave~â
âRomance for guys like ya prolly ainât any real importance to ya anyway, I bet.â
âHuh? Whatâs that supposed to mean?â
âItâs like haute couture for ya, right? That ya can go for guys too puts ya on the forefront, right? Just like those sponsored campaigns toutinâ accessibility anâ globalization, itâs just somethinâ ya sayinâ to appear progressive. Anâ I dun like that at all.â
âIâm not sure youâre using all those terms correctly? But anyway! How can you say that!?â
Tatsuki whipped around to look at Shin.
âI was really serious about him! I was so serious that even when I found out that he had a boyfriend, I still went after him. I did everything to try to make him mine. But in the end, when I went to pursue him when his boyfriend was away, the boyfriend suddenly came back and gave me hell.â
What the hell? This turned into an awful story.
âThatâs a scumbag thing to doâŚâ
âWhat? You think so~? If pushing doesnât work, then try pushing harder. Thatâs how the saying goes, right?â3
âThatâs not how it goes. Now I feel bad for people who end up attractinâ guys like ya.â
âItâs not like that. Once itâs past the throat, itâs all a kind of play, you know?4 Or after a storm comes the hot and heavy action.â5
For some reason he was spouting weird, mangled proverbs.
âYa just called it play. Like itâs a toy for ya.â
âNo, no, thatâs not the play I meant⌠Why am I desperately trying to explain myself to you?â
âYa dun sound desperate at all.â
Tatsuki took an unusual turn with his response, and his feelings sounded hurt. âWhether my feelings were real or not, thatâs between me and the person in question to decide! Itâs not any of your business, Nacchan.â
It wasnât any of Shinâs business. Tatsuki was right. The simple truth pierced right through his heart. Shin remembered that he had spurned Tatsuki before when he told him, Thatâs none ya business, and so he couldnât say anything back. Shin flinched back, and it put an end to his hounding.
âI guess if you were to ask me if I liked him enough to go to his home to wake him up, Iâd say probably not.â
Shinâs left hand moved on its own to chuck an empty beer can at Tatsuki.
ââHey, whoa!â
Shinâs windup motion was extremely loose, and he wasnât using his dominant arm. Tatsuki had great reflexes too (hatefully so), and he easily dodged it. The beer can hit the TV, still playing the DVD, and fell to the floor.
âOops, I accidentally hit the performer in the faceâŚâ
âHey, thatâs the TV screen! You were about to hit me in the face!â
âThatâs âcause ya said somethinâ weird!â
âWhyâs it weird?â Tatsuki asked, staring straight back at Shin. âYouâre so devoted to Souma-san. Is it because you like him?â
âWhat the hell ya sayinâ? Ya gonna suspect me like the others who like spreadinâ gossip around?â
People liked to talk in this industry, and Shin knew that some people suspected that his relationship with Sakae was not strictly professional. Maybe they were too scared of Sakae, but no one ever said anything about it to Shin directly.
âAnd thatâs why Iâm asking you point-blank. Everyone else seems to separate Souma-san the person from his work, but Nacchan, you seem to be okay with all of him. Itâs like you love GoGo and Souma-san as one single entity.â
That was probably true. To Shin, Souma Sakae and Go Go Dash were an existence much similar to the chicken or the egg. Because it was the show that Sakae made, Shin loved it. And because Sakae was uniquely Sakae, he could make the show.
âItâs fine. Itâs not a big deal,â Tatsuki said.
Tatsuki folded his arms on top of Shinâs knees and rested his chin there to look up at him. He had done it so naturally that Shin wasnât able to avoid his touch. Tatsuki was used to touching people without any ulterior motives, and the behavior had no cause for any apprehension towards his movements. Shin wondered if this was his genius at work or whether it was learned from experience.
âI think itâs cool to work hard and do your best because you like someone and want their recognition. Is it really something to get so nervous about? If you donât have romantic feelings for him, just say so, and Iâll accept it.â
Due to the difference in their heights, Shin never really saw Tatsukiâs gaze looking up at him. This unfamiliar position made him feel uneasy. He could feel the hardness of Tatsukiâs elbows against his knees. And there was Tatsukiâs hair whorl that he had probably never seen before.
ââŚI donât.â
âYouâre lying.â
âYa said yaâd accept it.â
âYouâre a terrible liar, Nacchan.â
His wry smile made Tatsuki look older than he was. Tatsuki showed different sides of himself every time Shin saw him. Shin never showed any changes, which he thought without any resentment, probably made him boring. Tatsuki probably had countless numbers of people he could hang out with, go out to drink with, call to his home, so why would he bother with Shin?
âOh, I know~ If you can look me in the eye while you say it, Iâll believe you.â
âWhatâs with that?â
âDidnât I say it earlier? Youâre the type of person who avoids looking at people in their eyes. Iâve thought so since I first met you. Even when youâre on the floor, giving out cues the whole time, your gaze just kinda bobbles around. You canât do that if you have something important to tell us. No one can trust a floor manager like that, and I think itâs the same outside of work too.â
âWhy do ya suddenly say somethinâ sensible at times?â
âHey, Iâm always sensible.â
âWhere? I dun see itâŚâ
He wouldnât call it a phobia, but he had a bad habit for averting his gaze immediately when people looked at him. Tatsuki had noticed it right away. It was embarrassing, but Shin admired and appreciated that Tatsuki took the time to really observe people. People never really cared about others, if they werenât family or friends.
Shin decided to try placing his hand on Tatsukiâs head, like he was petting a dog. He was bad at physical contact with people and seldomly ever did it. Tatsuki would allow him to do this, and that made him feel at ease. It was a strange feeling to be touching someone elseâs hair.
âItâs âcause Iâm bad at lyinâ.â
âOkay.â
âWhen someone catches my eyes, I feel like they can read my thoughts anâ it scares me. My entire body freezes up.â
âIsnât it easier if they can read your thoughts? Then you donât have to spend the effort saying everything.â
Shin thought that it was a way of thinking that really suited Tatsuki.
âBut ya have things you dun want others to know, right? Like embarrassinâ or bad thoughts.â
âOr dirty thoughts? Everyone thinks them, so weâre all the same.â
Shitara had said that he envied Tatsuki, but he wouldnât want to be like him. Right now, Shin thought that maybe it wouldnât be so bad.
âBut I feel like they wonât find out if I dun say anythinâ. Like itâs okay if I just watch âem silently.â
ââŚAre you talking about Souma-san?â
âNo.â
Shin was in high school when he had some level of awareness that he was attracted to other men. The guy he had liked was a classmate he was friends with. Shin had the fortunate position to spend after-school hours, free periods, and study sessions with him, but he never thought about the two of them becoming anything more, not even in his dreams. If the guy rejected him, it would ruin their precious days together. But most importantly, he already had a girlfriend. The risk was just too large. More like it was all risk and no gain. Even if somehow an infectious disease had wiped out the entire population of women on the planet, Shin knew that there was no future where that friend would be anything more than a friend to him. There was nothing he could do about it, just how like he felt nothing when he saw nudes of girls.
On the other hand, it wasnât like he had lived his life in pain, despairing over an unrequited love doomed for failure. He had enjoyed his days for what they were worth. He was young, and he hadnât felt any of the loneliness that the future could hold for him. He was fairly content just watching wishfully from the sidelines. Life would probably be more painful if he were a girl and had his heart broken normally.
But one day out of the blue, his friend had said to him with a slight laughter in his voice, âHey, every now and then, dun ya look at me a lot? It scares me sometimes.â
Shin couldnât look away from the gaze that had caught him. Blood drained from his face, but for some reason, it surged like a rampage through his feet, and he almost wondered if his indoor school shoes would be ruined. Shin sat there not saying a thing, and his friend started apologizing.
âSorry, I said somethinâ weird. Dun get mad.â
He had interpreted Shinâs petrification as anger. Maybe he had chosen to interpret it that way for Shinâs sake. A man gazing at another man and having special feelings for himâthat was âsomethinâ weird.â And his friend had thought that it was an insult to be suspected of such a thing and naturally it was something to get angry about.
Shin realized that even looking was something that someone like him wasnât allowed to do.
But he had known that from the beginning. He had accepted it. He should have long given up all hope already. But that night, he hadnât been able to fall asleep, the TV just happened to be left on, and he watched Go Go Dash for the very first time. He had spent the hour awestruck and laughing, and afterwards he realized that it was the only time he had spent not thinking about his friend. And he thought, Iâm gonna watch this next week, and that tiny piece of hope was something incredibly precious to Shin. It was a guiding light, like the stars or a lighthouse. The feelings as he anxiously waited for the show to air, the feelings as he watched the show completely captivated, the feelings that continued, even though he was sad when the episode ended, he knew that another one would come againâthey were little bits of energy that fueled him and let him forget all of his troubles and feelings of alienation. He believed that even now there were tons of people who watched GoGo feeling the same sort of feelings that he did. Even if it was only for a brief period of time and nothing in reality changed, this space of time when they flipped the channel to watch the show, it would never betray them.
âThereâs one episode thatâs my favorite⌠Have ya seen it before? The one with a young, solo comedian anâ a weird olâ man who suddenly shows up anâ follows âim around?â
âNope, never seen it.â
âWell, they end up livinâ together. In a tiny apartment, eatinâ their meals together anâ goinâ to the public baths together. The olâ man never says anythinâ. The young guy is real irritated with âim in the beginninâ, but eventually he comes to really care âbout the olâ man and treats âim much nicer. The guy doesnât know it, but thereâs a special keyphrase for this setup, anâ if he says it, the olâ man disappears.â
âWhatâs the keyphrase?â
ââItâs like weâre really father anâ son.ââ
âThatâs so sad!â
âYeah. The guy says it as heâs washinâ the olâ manâs back, anâ the next morninâ, heâs gone. They tell the guy about it at the end, but yeah, itâs a bit of a sad setup.â
Some reason the segment had won an award for a short-form documentary, and later on Sakae had told him that he didnât get why it had won.
âI cried when I first watched it. Anâ then I thought, âThis show is really kind at its heart.â Yeah, there are episodes that can get real crass anâ vulgar, but it never veers into territory makinâ someone look like an idiot or a villain or bullyinâ âem with pranks. Iâm relieved more than I can laugh.â
The man who only repelled people never ever misjudged the fine line between funny and bad taste.
âAnâ eventually I wasnât satisfied by only watchinâ the show. I wanted to be part of the team that made everythinâ I saw.â
Maybe he just wanted to bury the bitter feelings that he couldnât even call heartbreak, and the show happened to appear at the perfect time. But Shin fell in love with the show Go Go Dash itself. It wasnât human, and there was nothing to expect from it, but he just wanted to get closer to the show. And so he decided that he wanted to work for the production company that showed up in the end credits. He had chosen his school for college based on the track record for finding employment in the TV industry. The acceptance rate for finding a job at the TV network itself was too tall a hurdle to clear and there was no guarantee he would be placed at the department or the show that he wanted, and so he had ruled that out from the beginning.
It was during his second or third round of interviews, if he remembered correctly.
The door to the conference room had opened, and a man came in to look around the room.
âHuh? Whereâs Tsuda-san?â
âIsnât he in Conference Room D?â
âWhoops, wrong floor. What are you doing?â
âCanât you tell? Itâs new graduate recruitment.â
The man was dressed casually, wearing jeans and a T-shirt. He was still young, but he spoke on familiar terms with the HR director. All the young recruits in their interview suits probably wondered who the heck this person was. Furthermore, the man said, âHey, I want to join in,â and pulled over a chair from against the wall and sat down. That was when Shin saw the manâs name on the ID badge hanging from his neck, and Shin shot up out of his chair.
âSouma Sakae!â
âHuh?â
âUm, youâre Souma-san, correct? You work on Go Go Dash⌠I always see your name on the staff credits.â
Sakae didnât look happy in the least; he gave an exceedingly annoyed-sounding âYeah,â and Shin broke out into a cold sweat. But he wouldnât be discouraged.
âI love GoGo tons anâ tons, anâ itâs the reason Iâm here applyinâ for a job.â
The protocol for polite, standard Japanese went out the window as Shin made his appeal, and the HR director laughed wryly.
âWeâve been getting a lot of those applicants lately. Graduates who are fans of GoGo and want to work on the show⌠Iâll just say that the job is much tougher than it looks, so you may want to pull your head from the clouds.â
Crap. Was this the end? Like a railfan failing the job interview at a railway company�
Ugh, I shouldna said anythinâ.
He wondered if his mother would kill him if he told her that he failed and wanted to try again next year. Maybe Shinâs disappointment was blatantly apparent, but Sakae called out to him.
âOi. What do you like about GoGo? Be brief about it.â
âThat itâs kind.â
Shin gave his answer without hesitation. The entire room murmured, as if wondering, What kind of answer is that, but Shin was confident in his answer. He knew that someone who made the show would understand.
âHnnâŚâ
Sakae only uttered a questionable grunt, unimpressed and unamazed at the answer. Then he searched around in his jeans and pulled out a stick from a cigarette pack.
âSouma-kun, please refrain from smoking here.â
âOh, okay.â
Sakae pointed the cigarette between his fingers right at Shin.
âYou. Youâre hired.â
Shin swore that time stopped for a moment.
âOi, oi. Donât make that decision for us.â
âWhy not? Itâs all good. I want this kid. Iâll make him my underling. More than half the recruits quit anyway, so why donât you hire a little more upfront?â
âOh, geez, and there you go again.â
Just as Sakae was leaving, he turned his head back to look at Shin and grinned.
âDonât regret this.â
Shin didnât know how much of an effect Sakaeâs words had on his hire. The company representatives had insisted that it had no effect on the hiring process, but Shin liked to think that Sakae had hired him.
That was the first and last time that Sakae had smiled so freely at Shin. But Sakae was much more accessible then than he was now, and he had looked healthier too. Five years had passed in a blink of an eye, and he raised through the ranks as Series Director, Associate Producer, Executive Producer, and finally Showrunnerâbecoming more and more difficult to work with and refusing people to come near him. But he had let Shin work for him as his âunderlingâ just like he had said, and Shin never regretted it.
Sakae probably wasnât serious when he had said, I want this kid. When Shin went with a representative for their first face-to-face meeting, Sakae treated him like he had never met him before. But Shin was fine with that. Even if it was only a temporary whim, the director on the TV show that he loved and adored had said that he wanted him. Even if it was nothing but self-satisfaction, the happiness he had felt at that moment was essentially a realization of his dreams. That was why Shin told himself that he had nothing more he could ever want from Sakae and he could convince himself that he would be fine even if he never found love in his life. He had already tasted the fruits of loveâhe didnât need anything else.
âI wouldna call it likinâ âim. I owe Souma-san my life. Heâs the master I look up to anâ admire. Like ya said, heâs essentially the same as GoGo to me⌠I wonder why. Itâs like I can give âim all the feelinâs I have, and it never feels like I have any less than before.â
âThatâs love,â Tatsuki said.
âQuit it. Dun use such glitzy words for me. It makes my skin crawl.â
âWhatâs so glitzy about it?â
Tatsuki chuckled and rested his cheek on Shinâs lap. He ainât gonna fall asleep here, right? Shin thought, but he also felt like it wouldnât be so bad if he did.
âYouâre really devoted, Nacchan.â
âDun ya mean just stubborn?â
âWhen I like someone, Iâll say it right away. I mean, isnât a waste of time just dancing around each other? The sooner you sort out your feelings, the sooner you can spend time together. And if it doesnât work out, you can give up and move on. Maybe thatâs why I get told that I have nothing below the surface.â
âWhat the hellâs that about?â Shin lightly tugged Tatsukiâs hair. âWho told ya that?â
âPretty much everyone? Also that I seem shallow and flimsy as a person.â
It annoyed Shin to hear Tatsuki say those words so calmly, and so he had to refute them.
âTheyâre totally wrong. Maybe ya can be a little too playful, but ya have so much more below the surface. Dun listen to those stupid words! Anybody who says that about ya doesnât really know ya. They only know the surface!â
Tatsuki raised his head. Shin felt strangely flustered and suddenly became all embarrassed. He didnât even know Tatsuki all that well himself, so what was he getting so worked up for? Shin continued the conversation in his desperation.
âBesides, ya said that ya seriously liked the guy from two years ago, right?â
âYeah, but I wouldnât say that I liked him so much that I canât think of anyone else.â
âWhat did ya like about him?â
âHeâs funny and interesting and really pretty strange.â
âHnnâŚâ
Shin encountered people like that on a daily basis, and he couldnât really get a sense for the person.
âAnd how he had no interest in me. I enjoy the thrill of the chase.â
âHnnâŚâ
Just as he was thinking, I shouldna asked, Tatsuki continued to talk.
âHe has a few sides that reminds me of you a little, Nacchan. You both make biting comments to what I say and quietly do whatever you need to do your job.â
âHuh.â
He only uttered a string of short, boring filler words. Shin didnât know how to respond to Tatsukiâs commentsâmore precisely, he didnât know how to interpret them. He didnât know what to call the emotion that was spreading through his chest. It was something ambiguous, kind of like pain but kind of ticklish, kind of happy but kind of frustrating.
ââAnywayâŚâ Tatsuki rose to his feet and yawned as he stretched his arms over his head. âNacchan, do you want to use the bath?â
âNo, Iâm fine.â
âOkay, Iâll go take a shower then. You can do whatever.â
However, this was the first time Shin had ever stayed at someone elseâs place, and he couldnât think of what âwhateverâ was appropriate. So he stopped the DVD, rinsed out the empty cans, wiped up the little bit of beer that had gotten on the floor when he had thrown the can, and threw himself back down on the sofa. He wondered if he should catch a taxi back home, but it would be a waste of money. There was so much he had talked about today and heard, and it all still spun around in his head, preventing him from cooling down, but his body was just about ready to run out of battery.
Shin was half awake and half asleep when he heard Tatsuki call out, âNacchan,â but he couldnât answer back.
Translation Notes
- Chuhai – An alcoholic drink typically made with shochu, carbonated water, and a fruity flavor like lemon or grapefruit. You can get them sold as a can in Japan.
- The original Japanese listed words that rhyme with otoko (man) â itoko (cousin), hatoko (second cousin), maiko (apprentice geisha), and Sadako (from The Ring movies).
- Tatsuki mangles the saying If pushing doesnât work, then try pulling away.
- The original proverb is Once itâs past the throat, one forgets the burn.
- The original proverb is After a storm comes a calm.
I cracked up so hard at the telescoping pruning shears from the GoGo bit.
But we get Tatsuki telling Shin about Kei. And Tatsuki asking about Shin’s feelings about Sakae… And why Shin is so fixated on GoGo. And how dazzling Sakae had been back then when they first met. And the intimacy with Tatsuki resting his arms and chin on Shin’s lap and looking up at him. And Shin telling Tatsuki he is so much more than people tell him he is. Ahhh, there is so much here that I love!
And poor innocent Shin, totally missing the dirty jokes that Tatsuki loves to spout.đ
Oooh so two years have passed since Yes ka No ka oooohhhh.. gaaahhhdd i ship them so hard.. get a clue nacchan D: hahaha
Thanks for the chapter!!!~ đđđđ
Yes ka No ka starts in January. The News makes its premiere in the spring. Tatsuki confesses in the October/November time frame. Kei takes Ushio to meet his parents over New Years. Newsment starts the following spring. They visit the hot springs in early summer. The rumors about Kei running for office start after January the next year, and they move in together early summer. Shin starts at The News around this time, and right now it’s August. Ushio is in middle of working on his Daydream Believer short film. So yeah~ Almost three years for the entire span of the books!
Whoaaa sensei did such intricate timeline v)/ amazing!!!