Yes, No, or Maybe Half? – Vol. 2 Extra 2

Extra 2: Nobody Loves Me




—–Translated by daydrop. Please read on the original site at daydrop.nowaki.net.

(Published in Ichiho Michi’s blog as a thank you to celebrate additional printings of Center of the World in July 2017.)

For some reason, he felt like he had turned into a jellyfish. He had fell during a trip at a hot springs, and ever since he woke up, that was the feeling that he had. Probably because he had hit his head, his memories were fuzzy. At first, he felt like the reality of his surroundings was shaky and unreliable, but now he thought otherwise.

It was himself that was formless, drifting about and taking in air. It was the world that didn’t know what to do with him, and it made Kunieda-san scared and worried.

He opened up a newspaper and turned on the TV. It was a normal and ordinary day. There were words that he knew, news that he had heard, and breaking news stories to process. Kunieda-san understood everything and could digest it all. He took care of himself properly, made his meals himself, and he more than supported his basic necessities with his salary. What part of his daily life was unstable? He couldn’t come up with an answer, and he didn’t know if thinking about it in itself was the correct thing to do.

Sometimes he wondered if he was still unconscious from the hit to his head (or some other accident or illness) and he was actually dreaming.

—Somehow it felt like he wasn’t himself…

He had talked with a doctor, but he had brushed it off saying, Let’s just wait and see how things go. Which probably meant that at the very least, there was a third party who felt that everything was normal. Would he feel better if he could call or text someone? But there was no one he could think of to contact. It wasn’t that he couldn’t think of anyone, but his parents, his work colleagues, and the people he knew from college all felt wrong.

He couldn’t fall asleep until late at night, and he had hoped his head would feel clearer in the morning after getting some rest, but his sleep was shallow and nothing had changed.

It was just before dawn, and his empty bedroom was filled with a bluish darkness like the middle of the ocean. It was his own apartment, but his sofa, his coffee table, and even his bookshelves seemed cold and distant. Why were there volumes of manga he had never seen before? What was that extra key hanging on his keychain for? It felt like all those things were simultaneously accusing him, You’re not you.

Kunieda-san was lonely. He didn’t know why he felt so lonely, and it made him feel even lonelier that he could barely stand it. The thoughts occupied his head like a curse saying, No one loves you. Why? Why? He had never done anything wrong or said anything cruel—he had lived his life properly up until now.  He had carefully communicated with the people around him, and there wasn’t anyone who he could remember that obviously hated him. But despite all of that, there was no one. 

Kunieda-san waited quietly for the morning. Morning came and went, then noon, and as night approached, he thought, I should go see him. Tsuzuki-san.

Tsuzuki-san was the single person he had no recollection of in his memory. The first time he had ever seen him was when he woke up. And yet— No, maybe that was why. It was only when he was with Tsuzuki-san that the contours took shape and he felt less and less like a jellyfish. He felt safe, and he enjoyed himself.

But sometimes when Tsuzuki-san would look at him, a hint of loneliness would flash across his eyes. Maybe the thoughts that Kunieda-san was having about himself, he was making Tsuzuki-san feel right now. Imagining it only made Kunieda-san feel lonely all over again. I’m sorry, he whispered. But I want to see you.

Even if no one—and perhaps not even you—loves me. 




Translator Note: I recommend reading the side stories related to Volume 2 found in Off Air before proceeding to read Volume 3.




—–Translated by daydrop. Please read on the original site at daydrop.nowaki.net.

3 thoughts on “Yes, No, or Maybe Half? – Vol. 2 Extra 2”

  1. I have such a soft spot for Kunieda-san. He’s so earnest and cute, and yet so strong and vulnerable at the same time. Ahhh, my heartttt. You are loved, Kunieda-san, you are loved!

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