Chapter 8: Yes, No, or Maybe Half? (8)
Kei got out of the taxi, fumbled with Tsuzuki’s house key that he still had with him, and let himself in. It was dark inside. He headed towards the second floor and found Tsuzuki sound asleep in his bed.
Kei hesitated as he approached, not knowing if he should wake him, but at the sound of the floorboards creaking, Tsuzuki opened his eyes.
“…Which one?” Tsuzuki asked.
“Are you ‘Kunieda-san’ or are you ‘Owari’?”
After thinking for a moment, Kei answered, “About half and half, I guess.”
“I see.” Tsuzuki smiled. “It took you long enough. I stayed up until 8 or so before falling asleep.”
“Gimme a damn break. I had work.”
“Fun, first time hearing you talk like that while looking so nice. It’s refreshing.”
“Did you read the news on the Internet? There was an article about you—Does The Prince Have a Bit of an ‘S’ Streak?”1
Part of Kei wanted to yell, Focus on the contents of the show, dammit!, but whatever, it was par for the course for articles on the Internet. More importantly…
“…When did you realize it?” Kei asked.
“‘What the fuck are you doing?’”
“‘You gross me out, you fucking pervert.’”
They were all terrible things that Kei had said.
“…Are you mad at me?”
“That’s not it. Well, I’m a little hurt still. But that was when I finally realized it. My mind went completely blank, so it let me focus on the sound of Owari’s voice. It was so obvious… the nasal consonants.”2
“When I heard the difference in the way the ‘g’ syllables were pronounced, I realized that this was what Shitara-san had meant at dinner. Kunieda-san has never been aware of his nasal consonants, so I guessed that you wouldn’t be able to change it even if you wanted to. It was easy to figure out from there. If it wasn’t for the big difference in appearance between the two of you, I should have noticed earlier with how similar you sounded. There were also your sneezes. Downstairs when we were filming and when we ate yakitori together. They were exactly the same.”
“…Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because I thought there was a chance you had dissociative identity disorder. That you might not have retained Owari’s memories. But it looks like it’s not the case.”
Kei sighed as he sat down on the bed. He turned away from Tsuzuki and asked, “You’re not angry?”
“For lying about it for so long.”
“If I had asked you if you were the same person and you said no, then I’d be angry. You just didn’t say anything, so we’re even.”
“Seriously, it doesn’t bother you?”
“Why should it?”
Kei needed to summon the courage to admit it out loud. “Don’t you find it weird? Isn’t it disgusting? Doesn’t it completely change your view of me?”
“No, not really.”
“I’m being serious here.”
Kei turned around to glare at him, but Tsuzuki just smiled wryly and went, “What?”
Kei didn’t reply, so Tsuzuki continued, “I said it doesn’t bother me. What are you getting mad for?”
“I was happy about it, you know?” Tsuzuki launched himself off the bed, and as Kei swayed with the motion of the mattress, Tsuzuki used his fingertips to capture a piece of hair from Kei’s forehead. “I like you both. I like the Kunieda-san who was like a prince, and I like the Owari with the foul mouth and terrible personality. God, I was glad when I realized that I didn’t have to pick between the two of you.”
“How can you like us both?”
“Hmmm, it’s kinda like how you can take turns eating chips and chocolate?”
“I don’t get it.”
Kei angrily brushed away the hand in his face in an effort to hide his embarrassment. Tsuzuki seemed to understand this, and it was evident in his eyes as he gazed happily back at Kei.
“It’s interesting. Everyone’s a bit different in public and in private, but there’s not a lot of people who take it to the extreme like you.”
“What am I, a rare animal species?”
“Well, you kinda are.”
Without warning, Tsuzuki lightly pressed a kiss to Kei’s lips. It happened so quickly, Kei couldn’t react—he wasn’t entirely sure that he even felt it. But Tsuzuki was right there, his lips a short distance away, breath hot and palpable as he exhaled, “…When I watched you on TV, my heart was beating so hard for you.”
Fingers had wrapped around the back of Kei’s neck, and they started playing with his hair.
“I was worried at first, but when I saw your face appear on screen, I knew that you were going to be just fine. That you can do this by yourself. That night you looked like you were about to crumble from the pressure, but you pulled through. Just seeing you speak so confidently, I was like, whoa, I’m in love. I fell in love with you all over again.”
“I didn’t do it by myself.”
Kei wondered if his own breath was just as hot.
“If I hadn’t talked to you on the phone, I might have run away. It was the first time that I felt so alone. And it was the first time that I felt that I wasn’t so alone after all.”
It was the first time someone called him by his first name like that.
“You’re fine the way you are. It’s okay if it’s weird. So don’t let anyone else besides me see who you really are.”
“…As if I could show this to anyone else. It’d be the end of my life as I know it.”
“Does that mean that you’re in love with me too?”
Does it? But we’re both men. But then again, where else will I find another person crazy enough to accept me as I am…?
Kei answered in a quiet voice, “Maybe… half of me does…”
“Then half of one and half of the other adds up to yes, you’re in love with me?”
“Half means half, dammit. Look at you, you like half of ‘Kunieda-san’ and half of ‘Owari.’”
“You’re an idiot,” Tsuzuki said, smiling at Kei.
Kei didn’t normally get angry at others calling him an idiot, but for some reason he was really angry right now.
“For me, adding it up makes me doubly in love with you.”
Kei only got angrier; he had felt his heart skip a beat at hearing this confession.
Tsuzuki pulled him over with his hands, so that Kei was on his knees straddling Tsuzuki’s lap. It was preferable to being pressed down underneath him, but it was still embarrassing. Kei’s suit jacket and tie were quickly removed and tossed on the floor. It was clear where they were headed next.
…Well, yeah, I’m not a damn child.
“If you’re scared, we can do this another time.”
“What, I’m not scared,” Kei said, indignant. “Watch out for yourself. You might find yourself under my spell once you get a taste of me, completely wrecked unless you have me.”
“Yeah, that makes me scared.”
“I know, right?”
“Just as scared as that I’m Scared of Manjuu! story.”3
“What’s that supposed to mean!?”
“It means that I’m all too happy to eat you.”
Tsuzuki pressed a kiss to Kei’s chest, over his dress shirt. He wore a thin T-shirt under the dress shirt for a total of two layers between him and Tsuzuki’s lips. It reminded Kei of that frantic kiss over his facemask, and he couldn’t help but blush at the memory.
There was the sound of licking as Tsuzuki dragged his tongue over the fabric of the shirt. Kei could feel a natural warmth cooling on his skin as the saliva slowly seeped through the layers. A pair of front teeth grazed over with the wetness, scraping and scouring, sending shocks to even his nipples.
His chest was nothing like a woman’s, he shouldn’t have felt anything, but there was no doubt that his throat hitched whenever Tsuzuki’s mouth aligned and sucked at the perfect, pert, little spot. Feeling the need to hold onto something, anything, Kei reached out to hold the back of Tsuzuki’s head. That was when he felt Tsuzuki hold his waist tighter and suck his nipple a little harder, until Kei could barely breathe. A tiny flame was taking root inside him, and without thinking, he pulled on Tsuzuki’s ear to stop him.
“…Idiot, stop that.”
“Ow, are you trying to pull my ear off?” Tsuzuki stared up at Kei unhappily. “Didn’t you say you wanted to put me under your spell?”
“Then kiss me.”
Kei was slightly irritated at the way it was phrased as an order, but when he looked down and saw Tsuzuki with his eyes closed, surprisingly cute and unguarded, he decided that he felt better being in the position looking down on him, so he leaned over and kissed him.
Tsuzuki behaved for less than 10 seconds before he started pushing his tongue between Kei’s lips, running it along his teeth, then pulling away. Tsuzuki was close enough that a string of saliva connected them unbroken, as he whispered, “I’m glad. You have beautiful teeth.”
“…Well, of course.”
Despite his confident response, Kei’s heart couldn’t help but ache quietly as he remembered the stupid lie that he had told. He couldn’t bring himself to say, I’m sorry that I worried you, so he brought his lips back down for another kiss, and this time he took the initiative to push his tongue inside. Kei suddenly wanted Tsuzuki so much that he didn’t have the wherewithal to think about anything else. He sank himself into the softness of his mouth and the beguiling warmth of his tongue.
Not even a sigh could escape from the way that their lips were bound, but at a single touch from Tsuzuki’s fingertips, a moan spilled from Kei’s throat. The traces of the long, tender caresses leftover on Kei’s tongue throbbed where they had parted, like a phantom pain.
The large hand, with a fine and casual ease, sought out all of Kei’s pleasure centers, meticulously and unrelentingly, plying his cock with attention.
“Ahhh… Ah, ahhhh…”
The embarrassment of coming too quickly, like a man starved for touch, disappeared into the ether as the tip of Kei’s cock started to leak.
Nghhh… I want to come. I want to come. God, I bet it’ll feel so good to come in Tsuzuki’s hand like this.
Preoccupied with the pleasure, Kei failed to notice Tsuzuki’s free hand fumbling for something at the side of the bed, nor did he notice when it returned to wrap itself around his back.
“Ah!!!” Kei shouted, feeling something sneak into his underwear, into the deepest area hidden down below. He was flustered to feel a slimy sensation probing him instead of the skin he that was expecting and tried to twist his body away.
Kei protested, “No…”
“Shit, you’re turning me on.”
“Die, asshole! W-What the fuck w-was that?”
“Hand cream,” Tsuzuki responded. “My hands get really chapped, so I always keep some around to put on before going to bed.”
Kei confirmed that it wasn’t anything harmful to his body, but he still felt horrified by the wet and slimy sensation sliding inside of him.
Uh, do you really want to put it in there? I can’t! I don’t want to! I’ll get you off with my hands, so please, anything but that. I’ll even use my mouth if I have to, just not that!
Kei wanted to protest and voice his complaints, but before he could, his tongue froze at the foreign movement wriggling fitfully inside his body. The entire length of Tsuzuki’s finger was buried there, but he didn’t realize just how deep it penetrated inside of him until he felt it pushing and prodding up against his walls. Inside his head, it scared him, like he was being investigated from the inside out.
Kei held onto Tsuzuki’s head without thinking, eliciting Tsuzuki to say, “Focus on your front,” while stroking Kei’s flagging erection back to life.
“Ah! …Ngh, ah, ah… ”
“Feels good, right?”
Tsuzuki coordinated the up-and-down strokes of his hand with the shallow in-and-out thrusts of his finger. This time Kei didn’t feel the need to stiffen at the strange, foreign sensation, he surrendered to the pleasure spreading through his body, lulling him into a daze with each crest and trough.
“See? Good, right?”
“Ahhh…! …W-Which one do you mean?”
Kei shook his head, and said, “No, not really.”
“Yeah, I can’t imagine how it’d feel good to have a finger up in there.”
“Well, you’re pretty conservative when it comes to these things, after all.”
“Shut up, you damn pervert.”
“Nothing wrong with being a pervert.”
Kei had finally gotten used to one finger when he felt another one stretching him open.
“Relax, it’ll only hurt more if you keep thinking about it.”
“Yes, you can. Here.”
Tsuzuki repeatedly rubbed the underside of Kei’s hard cock, spilling transparent fluid from the tip, letting it drip onto his fingers. Squelching noises from the hand cream could be heard coming from his backside. Kei’s insides felt like they’d been scooped out and turned into cream, and he would melt until he was a shapeless puddle. It frightened him, but at the same time, he wouldn’t refuse Tsuzuki’s touch. Flushed and aroused, Kei’s legs wobbled as the fingers played with the reddened, exposed head of his cock.
“I can feel your insides responding. Like it wants something.”
“I’m not lying.”
There was a dull pain as the fingers deep inside of his body spread and stretched wide against the walls inside, but at the same time, Kei felt overcome with a pleasure, discovering something that he had never felt before, his hole contracting and squeezing at a lonely emptiness.
Simultaneously, under the ministrations of clever fingers, his desire burst past the upper limits of his restraint, swelling into a crescendo before shattering. The intensity of the release left him dizzy and breathless.
As Kei tried to recover, clutching Tsuzuki against his body, Tsuzuki suddenly seized him and dropped him unceremoniously on top of the bed, pulling off his own T-shirt while Kei lay on the sheets staring up at him, watching as he revealed his broad bare chest.
However, when Tsuzuki pulled off Kei’s pants with his underwear, then settled between his legs, Kei lost his nerve and called out, “W-Wait. I don’t think I can do this.”
“You can’t back out now.”
“But… I really don’t want to put it in. You can settle for us doing something else.”
“You got to come already. And you want to dictate what we do next?”
Tsuzuki held up one of Kei’s legs and pressed his hardness against it. Kei could deeply understand the duress that he was in and why Tsuzuki wouldn’t be in the mood for negotiations at the moment. But it didn’t change the fact that Kei didn’t like it and didn’t want to put it in.
“Tsuzuki-san, please, I don’t want to. I’m scared…”
Hearing “Kunieda-san’s” request, Tsuzuki stopped and hung his head.
Oh, worked like a charm.
“…You’re fucking terrible, you know!” Tsuzuki spat indignantly.
“Please, why don’t we save it for another day?”
That should be enough to get him out of this (at least for now). However, when Kei reached out to gently touch Tsuzuki’s shoulder, suddenly he found himself flattened and pinned to the bed.
“Hey, that hurt!”
“I’m gonna fix that horrible personality of yours starting with your body.”
Fuck. Well, that backfired.
“Dammit, you said that I’m fine the way I am!”
“There’s a limit to everything. How far do you want to test me?”
“You’re the one who started acting all lovestruck— Ah!!! Hey, I said I didn’t wanna do it!!!”
“Fine, I’ll let you off with half. Let me put it in halfway.”
“That’s not a compromise!”
“God, please shut up. I love you, okay? Now let me do it.”
“‘M not happy at all, dammit…”
Kei understood all too well when he felt Tsuzuki’s hardness that Tsuzuki was in an extremely difficult state to manage. Kei was a man too. But what would happen to him if he were to have that thing, in that state, inside of him? If he were to be honest, he wasn’t all too worried about the physical consequences. It was the other consequences that worried him.
“No, stop, it hurts!” Kei decided to exaggerate his pain in order to convince Tsuzuki to do something else, but when he saw Tsuzuki’s expression cloud over, he felt bad for trying to lie and trick him this way.
“…I’m sorry,” Tsuzuki apologized.
“Huh? Uh, it’s ok.”
Tsuzuki gently stroked Kei’s cheek to try to comfort him, but Kei couldn’t help but look away.
“So that’s what you were up to.”
Tsuzuki proceeded to push Kei’s legs back with his feet in the air.
“How many times do you think you can try to trick me?”
“It seriously hurts!”
“It’ll hurt more if you try to struggle.”
“Take slow, deep breaths.”
Kei didn’t want to follow his instructions, but he did so anyway if it made it easier on his body. Timing the pushes with his breathing, then at an excruciatingly slow pace, the shaft started to slowly but surely make its way inside.
“Ahhhh…Nnh… Is it h-halfway in y-yet?”
“Liar. Ah! No, don’t touch that.”
“But it makes it easier, doesn’t it?”
Kei had just come. He didn’t think he’d be able to get hard again, but to his astonishment, his cock responded to Tsuzuki’s touches. Maybe a trace memory of his pleasure had called it back.
“Nooo, why? Ahhhh…”
Under Tsuzuki’s hand, Kei felt like his desire was being kneaded and molded like a sweet confection. His arousal spread even to his hole, melting and coaxing, opening Kei from the depths within him.
“Ah, ahhhh… Mnhh, yeah…?”
“Sorry, but I’m at my limit.”
Tsuzuki thrust into Kei, not missing the way that Kei had succumbed to him again. Kei felt his vision blurring, more affected in his head than where they were connected. Tears welled up from his eyes. Maybe it was his head, but he didn’t know why.
Kei cried out softly.
“Liar. Y-You said y-you’d only put it in halfway… It’s all the way in now…”
Tsuzuki’s face fell, like he was child who had received a scolding. But then he grimaced, as if he were fighting off a smile trying to break though.
“Fuck. I’m sorry, I know you’re trying your best, but god, you look so cute…”
Tsuzuki licked away the tears at the corners of Kei’s eyes, and Kei’s heart roared so loudly that it hurt his chest. He decided to blame it on the distress on his body.
“…I’m going to start moving.”
Every stroke inside his body felt like it could have continued from his cock. Kei shuddered deep inside him, waves of bliss building and crashing. His insides throbbed from the heat, tingling, electric, filled to the brim with Tsuzuki’s hardness.
He would have called it closer to pain, but under the steady rhythm put into motion, it transformed, and he understood in anguish, as their bodies soaked with sweat, that this, this sexual desire, permeated his entire being right now.
“Ah! Ah, ahhh, ahhhh… Tsuzuki…!”
“Mmmh, call me… by my name…”
At the sound of Kei obediently repeating his name over and over, Ushio tore open the buttons on Kei’s shirt, stripped it off with the undershirt, and attached his lips to a prized nipple, sucking at it gently—which in response sent Kei to tighten down on the flaming desire splitting him open.
Ushio cursed, “Ah! Fuckk! …Damn it all to hell.”
As waves of pleasure built inside of Kei, Ushio whispered to him, “Now that you’re mine, I don’t think I can be satisfied by anything else.”
Kei agreed, but he didn’t want to tell him just yet. He didn’t want to admit it so soon.
But maybe he’d tell him that half of him feels the same way too.
They would fall asleep in each other’s arms. Day would turn into night again, and the aliens would return to their home planet. Just a short respite before leaving for work.
- S – Sadistic.
- Kei’s original line Kono hentai ga! Gero hakisou da yo! has a voiced consonant in gero and nasal consonant in hentai ga. It means You pervert! You make me wanna puke!, but I had to improvise to get words with a ‘g’ in the translation.
- I’m Scared of Manjuu! AKA Manjuu Kowai– A rakugo folk story in which a few friends talk about their fears. The friends like to tease and scare each other, so one of them pretends to be afraid of manjuu (buns) in order to get some free treats later.